I Met a Guy
I Met a Guy
I met a guy. He was smart, witty, adventurous, and easy on the eyes. I was drawn to him immediately. I wasn’t looking for a long-term relationship. I was just trying to find someone who accepted me for who I was, flaws and all. I had learned from experience never to look beyond the next date let alone the next week, month, or year. I had been hurt before. Somehow, I fell short in the eyes of other men – I was too smart, too tall, too thin, too heavy, had too many opinions. The list was endless.
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The first date went well. For our second date, he took me to a fondue restaurant where we spent hours talking, laughing, and sharing opinions. I realized that we had spent five hours together, over a cauldron of cheese, when the restaurant host subtly bumped my feet with the vacuum; the restaurant had closed thirty minutes prior and the staff nonverbally indicated it was time for us to leave. As we exited, he took my hand and we walked and continued getting to know each other well into the darkness of the evening.
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Date six. I still refused to acknowledge that I was seeing someone. Because if I did fate would rear its ugly head and this dream of a relationship would abruptly end. I just took it a day at a time, a date at a time. I was having fun! And amazingly it was easy. There was a sense of calm that surrounded me. Maybe this is how a true relationship should be – slow to develop, emotionally satisfying, and safe. I shared with him my hesitations and fears. He listened. He didn’t dismiss my feelings. He didn’t problem-solve me. Instead, date-by-date, he earned my trust. I realized he was invested in this developing relationship more than me. I realized that it was time to lower my armor of safety and begin calling him my boyfriend. This was a leap!
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Evening dates transitioned into weekends together. Alas, I was thinking and planning beyond tomorrow and next week. I felt great about myself and this relationship. I allowed myself to trust. I was falling for him.
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Four months into this thing called a relationship he told me he loved me. I had to process this admission. He witnessed me with makeup and without, when I was healthy and when I was fighting a “bug.” He acknowledged my multi-faceted personality, good and bad. He knew me. I did not have to adapt to him. He accepted me. He loved me. And I loved him too!
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Eleven months in, we were married! Some might call this quick. I have to admit, I thought it was fast too. But as things naturally fell into place and barriers were amazingly maneuvered, it felt right. On that evening in December, surrounded by family and friends, as snow began to slowly fall, we vowed to love each other forever.
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Almost 26 years later I still love this man. Two children, a cat, and a dog have rounded-out our family. Has it been easy? I wish I could say “yes.” However, even in the strongest unions, there are struggles. Some are “bumps in the road,” others are mountains with jagged edges and steep crevices. However, it is the covenant that we share that guides us in maneuvering our challenges. At the center of all this is our love, trust, and commitment.
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Life is good.
No, life is awesome.