I am a busy person. I have commitments. I have routines. I enjoy having a full schedule. I am happiest when I am active. I have no time nor patience for injury, surgery and recovery.
For the past several months, I have experienced significant pain in my left foot. Initially, I thought I simply twisted my ankle and with a little rest the discomfort would subside. Instead, it got worse. I visited my doctor leaving their office with a prescription for anti-inflammatories and a poorly Xeroxed sheet of paper with a half-dozen foot stretching exercises. Oh yeah, and a $180 bill for an eight minute visit.
After more rest, jazzed-up Motrin, and a committed plan of daily stretching my pain increased. Nightly walks with my husband seized. Instead of striding in a brisk pace, I was almost to the point where I was dragging my left foot, avoiding placing full weight on it. I went to a specialist that thought orthotics would be the cure. They weren’t.
Finally more diagnostic testing took place where it was revealed that I had torn ligaments. The surgeon was shocked that I had managed a somewhat normal, albeit limited, daily routine being in so much pain. In fact, he thought I was amazing. Nope, I am not anyone special, just a mom and wife that needs to get things done. Life doesn’t stop for foot pain. Things need to happen for life to continue smoothly. And did I mention we’re still dealing with a pandemic.
Surgery went smoothly. I emerged from the hospital with a shiny new cast, a pain pump, pages of do and don’t directives, and a new best friend – Buzz. Buzz is my assigned 3-wheel knee scooter.
And this is where I became a student of a new life education I candidly refer to as “Check your ego at the door” lessons.
Lesson #1: Take Inventory.
As you already know, I like to be active. I am a “have a plan, roll-up your sleeves and get it done” type of person. I love challenge.
Sitting in a recliner, with my foot elevated, watching the Hallmark Channel (It’s Christmas in July) is not my idea of fulfillment when it’s 80 something degrees outside with the sun shining in all its glory.
So I mentally had to encapsulate my situation by asking and answering a fundamental set of questions:
· Do I have control over this situation? Answer: “NO.”
· Is this the worst situation to be in? Answer: “NO.” People are dying from Covid 19 for Heaven’s Sake!
· Am I grateful that aside from a bum foot, I am relatively healthy? Answer: “Kinda Sort of.”
After reflecting on my answers for mere seconds, I realized that my attitude needed an adjustment. I needed to focus on the positives. And most importantly show some gratitude!
Lesson #2: When people offer to help - accept!
I remember when my daughter was 18 months old, she refused any assistance whatsoever in getting dressed in the morning. Whether it was a simple 2-piece play set or an overly complicated, multi buttoned jumper with matching tights, she wanted to get ready “all by herself.” She routinely rejected any help I would offer. Most times she would emerge from her room dressed and groomed ready for the day. However, there were times she announced her presence with leotards (remember those?!?) on backwards or buttons that were fastened but not aligned correctly.
Where am I going with this? Simply, when people offered to assist me with routine rituals like bathing, dressing, or attaining a cherry Popsicle from the freezer I responded with “Thanks, I can do it all by myself!” In fact, I could not. Or my body rejected my childish response with the clearly understood language of PAIN. I had to accept that it was easier on my body, with fewer healing setbacks, if I enthusiastically accepted assistance.
Lesson #3: Be at peace.
I needed to accept I was broken and needed to heal. I needed to put my frustrations in a well secured metaphorical box and step back. I had to relax. Perhaps this was a time where I was to be cared for instead of being the care provider. Maybe tasks would be accomplished or maybe they would not. Maybe my family would be eating more take-out instead of nutritious balanced meals. Maybe those evening walks with the love of my life would have to be replaced with watching an hour of Family Feud on TV (did I really admit to that?).
I had to accept and be at peace that I was injured and on the mend. Life would be a bit slower, even less complicated. I would have to lean on people and be grateful for their help. And as with my toddler daughter, make mistakes and try again.
When I am healed and Buzz is returned to the medical supply rental store, I will reflect on these lessons knowing that this situation is an opportunity for personal growth. These will be the same lessons I will exercise with my husband, children, friends, and family. I am so very grateful.
Life is good. So good.
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