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Ellen

How to Survive Sharing a Bed


Your bed can be the setting where intimacy is initiated and your best conversations take place. However, it can also be the location of territorial warfare. No kidding!


The first handful of months my husband and I were married, I rarely experienced a content night’s sleep where I felt (somewhat) refreshed in the morning. Then I had an epiphany. Just as we were different in other areas of our life, we had different sleeping habits.


Gene is a deep sleeper that sprawls. This means although he begins his evening of slumber occupying one side of the bed, within an hour he has taken over nearly three-fourths of the entire surface of the mattress. I am therefore left with a tiny sliver, hugging the side of the bed for dear life. Furthermore, if I entertain the idea of visiting the facilities sometime during the night, I have the probability of losing “my” sliver too.


In addition to being a sprawler, taking valuable sleeping real estate at will, the man I promised to love and cherish is also greedy in terms of sheets, blankets, and comforters. Our evening of sleep starts with the two of us sharing a blanket and comforter, and within an hour, the love of my life has collected almost all bedding, wrapping himself cocoon-like, and is comfortably sleeping. I, on the other hand, am left with nothing. Nil. Zip. Just me and a pillow. An hour prior I had two pillows, but he has taken one of those too whereby it is now securely clutched between his two arms, much like a child snuggling a teddy bear.


The first initiative for our bedtime slumber was to get a new bed – out with the queen-size, in with the king. Now, my husband is not a small man, but he is not overly large either. And, please never refer to him as average. With the addition of a king-size bed, I figured there would be enough space for both of us.


The second initiative: new bedding. Not new as in a fresh color, but new as in more! Of course, our queen-size bedding was now undersized. So, my husband and I went shopping for the perfect sheets and accouterments. Agreed upon thread count – check. Approved color and pattern – double-check. We loaded our bedding finds into the cart – sheets, pillowcases, comforter, and blanket. And yes, one more pillow. As my husband began to stroll to the check-out, I grabbed a duplicate comforter and blanket. Clever, you may be thinking – have a couple of items in the closet to swap while the originals are being laundered? Uh, no!


If you see our bed, all made-up with freshly purchased slumber finery, you’ll notice something immediately. Folded at the foot of the bed, you will find the duplicate comforter and blanket. These are mine. You see, I have my very own blanket and comforter and the man I promised to cherish and love the rest of my life has his. Bliss.


The lessons learned:


- Size matters.

- More is better.


As for the extra pillow, that’s Gene’s. He requires three pillows to sleep soundly. And he deserves it.


‘Nite.

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