I want to talk about Pride.
Pride is one of the “Seven Deadly Sins”. And one could argue that it is the deadliest of the sins. Pride is defined as “the putting of one's own desires, urges, wants, and whims before the welfare of other people.” The dictionary defines it as “a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.”
Everyone has to have some pride. Otherwise, nothing would get completed.
Example: I wouldn’t have gone to college to get my engineering degree if I did not have pride in my ability to learn the math and physics I needed to earn my degree.
Example: If I did not have pride, I may have not gone to college saying to myself that I was not good enough to be an engineer.
Others wouldn’t have invented the iPhone or microwave if they hadn’t had some pride that they could take a scientific process and make it for everyone to use. You have to have some pride.
But it is when this pride is inordinate. That I am a very important person with a very high opinion of myself. This is where pride can become dangerous. A prideful person cannot make a mistake in their opinion. If a mistake is made, it must be someone else’s mistake because I could not have made the mistake. And let’s face it. Everyone makes mistakes. There is no perfect person. We make mistakes and we have to be humble about it.
But in your personal relationships, pride can be very hurtful. When I make a mistake, and my wife calls me on it, I should be that humble person and admit my mistake and live with the consequences. But sometimes, I cannot admit my mistake. After all, I am the greatest engineer in the world (pound my chest). But I do make mistakes and I can’t admit to the mistake I made. I put my own wants and needs in front of my wife’s wants and needs. I want to be the king of the house and what I say is the truth. But sometimes I fail and I don’t want anyone to know, least of all my own wife.
And I honestly don’t even know I am being prideful. Pride gets in the way of a lot of things and if I could recognize it, I would stop it because I know my pride leads to a lot of arguments with my wife. Who hasn’t had the argument about being lost while driving and saying, “I am not lost”, even though I haven’t a clue where I am. Pride can stop you from doing things because you don’t want people to see you fail. I have always said that I learn more from failure than I could ever learn in school.
When pride gets in the way of a relationship, there is no winner. Prideful behavior means that you see yourself as superior to another person and that you are the winner and they are the loser. If you are prideful, you are never wrong. That you have to “win” the argument. That you are so prideful, you just won’t play the game because then you can never lose. Like giving the silent treatment to your partner.
A good healthy relationship is built on trust. Your partner will trust you when you show your humility, your vulnerability. If you are open about your weaknesses with your partner. And accepted your weaknesses. Then your partner will trust you more because they will realize you are not that perfect person.
I am reminded of Proverbs 16:18 – “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.”
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