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Ellen

The "Why." Phase One

The “Why” is simple: I love people and I cherish marriages and families.


My husband and I were volunteer marriage ministers for nearly seven years. We helped couples avoid, manage, and learn from the challenges that a marital union can bring. We met with couples. We listened. We advised. We walked aside couples as they navigated pitfalls of their relationship as well as celebrated their accomplishments and milestones. We quickly realized that there is a whole lot of pain combined with an overall lack of quality common sense advice available for couples to access. Furthermore, we were quick to learn that there is an element of fear present that inhibits one or both members of a relationship to reach-out for help.


Being on the front lines with couples in distress, I recognize the strengths of the ministry I so lovingly volunteered for as well as the shortcomings. My husband and I would often find ourselves venting to each other regarding what the ministry is and what it could be. The statistics fueling our frustration were daunting. Essentially, couples were electing to divorce more and more. It seemed as though dissolving a legal marital contract was much easier to some than to work on and resolve issues that were suffocating their love and commitment to each other. Egos are at play. Pride is center stage.


Something inside me began to stir; a mixed-bag of emotions centering on the aforementioned frustrations and the notion that the marriage ministry could be so much more. My husband called these feelings a “nudge” for change.


The next day, I headed out of town to attend my son’s college graduation. It was a quiet five-hour drive, with my husband at the wheel, where I processed what my heart and head were telling me. That evening I was on my knees praying for direction. If you are familiar with The Listening Prayer, I prayed the dangerous prayer and waited. The response was almost immediate. In my mind, my instincts clearly and unquestionably confirmed my ideas, passions, and goals related to marriage. My goal was obvious: I needed to use my experience and comprehensive skill set to positively impact more lives, relationships, and families. I shared my feelings with my husband and he, too, felt the same instinctual “nudge” that I was feeling. When I returned home, I penned a letter of resignation to the ministry I dearly loved so that I could fully focus and begin planning.


This blog is the first phase of my multi-stage initiative to provide quality, accessible information to all couples. It is not meant to replace professional counseling in any way. There will be additional phases, or tools, introduced that will further assist in building S-T-R-O-N-G marriages and relationships. It is my goal to positively and constructively touch as many relationships as humanly possible while encouraging love, commitment, and resilience. Remember, there are no perfect marriages or relationships. However, you can achieve harmony and bliss by learning to communicate and navigate.


Twoheartsinlove.com provides foundational information regarding the “Why’s” and “How’s” in building a S-T-R-O-N-G and satisfying relationship. Every week I will contribute additional thoughts and ideas via a blog post. My husband, too, will occasionally add insights and ideas via a male perspective. Soon, there will be additional features, including a direct “Ask Me A Question” option where I will attempt to answer inquiries from readers.


Open your mind and heart. Leave your ego and pride someplace else. Embrace the information and tools. And, most importantly, be committed to making a strong marriage.


Welcome and let’s get started.

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