Never Lose the Romance
Remember dating? It was a time where your future mate attempted to woo you with quiet evenings out, flowers, and chocolates. These efforts were all attempts to gain access to your heart. In return, you always looked your best, laughed at his corny jokes and pretended to like football. This is what we call Romance – the marketing and salesmanship of our hearts.
Then comes marriage. As if flipping a switch, the romance in the relationship slows. With the arrival of kids, romance comes to a screeching halt.
Does Romance have to end when the relationship is committed? No.
Sometimes women are under the misconception that the male is responsible for honoring and setting the tone for romance. In fact, both halves of a couple are equally responsible for encouraging and maintaining a romantic vibe in the relationship.
Is Romance and Dating the same thing? No.
Romance is many things. And yes, it could include dating. However, romance is more about pausing to acknowledge the love, care, and commitment between the two of you.
Example: After having our daughter, who suffered from colic the first six months of her life, there were days I never had the chance to take a shower. I knew I looked a mess – sleep-deprived, unclean and overall depleted. I remember my husband arriving home from work, and instead of saying “Wow! You look a mess!” looked at me and exclaimed, “Even on your worst days, you look amazing!” This simple statement was like pressing a recharge button in me. It reaffirmed my decision to marry this man. This is romance.
Example: My husband had a difficult day at work. Downright awful. On his arrival home, I met him at the door golf clubs at the ready. “Let’s go hit some balls at the range,” I suggested. I didn’t even give him an opportunity to reject my suggestion as I waited for him in the car. After an hour of launching golf balls, one after another, I could physically see the frustration and anger release from his body. Then we went for a couple of tacos from our favorite food truck. Realizing my husband was upset and caring enough to create an environment for the release of anger says, indirectly, that I care and love you. This is romance.
Example: Even after a long day at work, my husband always helps me clean up the kitchen after dinner. Indirectly, he acknowledges my long day too. Indirectly, he lets me know we are a team. This is romance.
Romance is small and large ideas. It all matters!
A few words about dating.
You must set time aside to date.
Take turns with your mate planning evenings out.
Dating doesn’t have to be expensive.
Going to the movies is typically an option to avoid as it does not provide an environment for conversation.
Dating should be scheduled well in advance for planning (tickets, reservations, babysitters).
Example: Although we would splurge for our anniversary, a typical evening out for us was enjoying a couple of hot chocolates while window shopping after hours. Or enjoying a couple of $1 drive-thru sundaes, while enjoying a free concert at the park.
Example: It was my turn to plan a date and I know my husband loves to play golf. Please note, that although I can play, the game is in no way, shape, or form a passion for me. So, I clipped a 2 for 1 coupon from the community newspaper and arranged a tee time. To say my husband was thrilled is an understatement!
This is an example of dating AND sacrifice. Booyah!